The semester is 95% behind me, and it turns out that hard work does pay off. I got A's and B's (mostly B's, but who's counting?). The results are a bit better than I expected, and it's been interesting to note my emotional response to the news. Immediately, I felt like patting myself on the back and chiding myself for being so worried. "Of course you got good grades! You worked harder to get it done than you ever have!" But that internal dialogue is followed by a certain suspicion that I would chide my incompetence and laziness had I gotten poor grades: grades–to my mind–dictate, rather than reflect the merit of my efforts in my own perception.
This is stunning news to me, because consciously, I've felt that grades are a subjective ballpark assessment of achievement and I have rarely felt the need to take the judgment seriously. Now I don't know how or if grades matter to me or not. If they did, why would I settle for, or risk, a mediocre grade when I knew I was capable of more? But if grades really don't matter to me, why would that stop me from learning and doing my best anyway? Why not get good grades and simply pay little attention? I feel that I've known people who do this, but I always suspect it's some kind of act, but I don't know.
Anyway, big tangent, and I'm exhausted. Shannon and I had a good budget meeting today. I will post my tasks to accomplish tomorrow.
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Why not get good grades and simply pay little attention? I feel that I've known people who do this, but I always suspect it's some kind of act, but I don't know.
ReplyDeleteGuilty on all charges! The secret is it's an act that gets you nowhere, like being on In Living Color instead of SNL.
Eww go tot he blood bank? What for?
ReplyDeleteHi. I'm here to apply some peer pressure. Hopefully Steven and Tyler help out. We're goign to play one session of DnD live while I'm at home since all but 2 of the players will be in DE. I want you to guest star for that one session. If you have fun you can keep playing. If you don't like it you can say you gave it a fair go. I demand a response!
ReplyDeleteShall I respond here, or in email?
ReplyDeleteWhy limit yourself? ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Luke, I'll only be slightly offended if you play with them... and by slightly, I mean enormously :)
ReplyDelete