After three interviews this summer, it looks like I won't be working as a full-time teacher this year. It would seem that my objective this year will be learning how to live on daily bread while following a cloud. I will learn discipline and grace when I fail, knowing that I have a lot more going for me than the children of Israel. By that I mean the full delight and pleasure of God through Christ Jesus. Awesome.
I want to begin song writing. I've had a lot of ideas floating around and I am viewing them as "talents" that have too long remained buried.
Two bits of scripture that have always had particular relevance to me are the parable of the servants and the talents, and the story of Peter walking on the water with Jesus. I will go into detail in later posts.
Thanks for checking in.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Middle of the Night
I don't know about you, but every time I see this page I get the sinking feeling of stagnation–an awful word really.
It's late. I've felt the itch to write something.
A friend from long ago came by the house today, a friend from a time when "friend" and "heathen" were simultaneously developing concepts. He was that friend. I suppose I taught him about argumentative religious people.
His first words to me on at the front of my house today were, "I still haven't found Jesus yet, didn't even find him in prison, and I thought everybody found him there." There was a girl with him. She seemed nice in a patched together kind of way with blond hair and thick brown dreadlocks. I didn't look close enough to figure out exactly what was going on with that.
My front step has had a lot of visitors: Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Baptist... I must have a front door that begs for a religious discussion. Maybe I've just been home more. Anyway, the gist of the conversation leads me to believe that the old friend on my doorstep is in some way searching. For my part, he's at the top of a long list of evangelistic failures. The first thing I told him was that I was sorry for having been so arrogant when we were kids. I think he had explained me to his girlfriend as the "really religious one."
We talked a little bit about Jesus and how someone across the street from him told him that his Mom was in hell but it wasn't too late for him. We agreed that was messed up. I asked him if he still played guitar. We had a little jam session. He wants to borrow my guitar. I'm not sure I completely trust him to return it. I told him I'd like a few more visits first. He's pretty darn interested. We'll see where this goes.
UPDATE: Lady Maphet guessed his initials. She remembers my friends better than I do.
It's late. I've felt the itch to write something.
A friend from long ago came by the house today, a friend from a time when "friend" and "heathen" were simultaneously developing concepts. He was that friend. I suppose I taught him about argumentative religious people.
His first words to me on at the front of my house today were, "I still haven't found Jesus yet, didn't even find him in prison, and I thought everybody found him there." There was a girl with him. She seemed nice in a patched together kind of way with blond hair and thick brown dreadlocks. I didn't look close enough to figure out exactly what was going on with that.
My front step has had a lot of visitors: Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Baptist... I must have a front door that begs for a religious discussion. Maybe I've just been home more. Anyway, the gist of the conversation leads me to believe that the old friend on my doorstep is in some way searching. For my part, he's at the top of a long list of evangelistic failures. The first thing I told him was that I was sorry for having been so arrogant when we were kids. I think he had explained me to his girlfriend as the "really religious one."
We talked a little bit about Jesus and how someone across the street from him told him that his Mom was in hell but it wasn't too late for him. We agreed that was messed up. I asked him if he still played guitar. We had a little jam session. He wants to borrow my guitar. I'm not sure I completely trust him to return it. I told him I'd like a few more visits first. He's pretty darn interested. We'll see where this goes.
UPDATE: Lady Maphet guessed his initials. She remembers my friends better than I do.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Now that that's over...
Not sure what to do with this space.
Job searching and time management need to happen again. It is so weird not being at school...
Job searching and time management need to happen again. It is so weird not being at school...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Morning Poem:
In the morning I turn on the light
At an ungodly hour that hurts my eyes.
I brew coffee.
Toast bread.
Cook oatmeal.
Well, I don't;
A dead dinosaur does.
But that's beside the point.
At an ungodly hour that hurts my eyes.
I brew coffee.
Toast bread.
Cook oatmeal.
Well, I don't;
A dead dinosaur does.
But that's beside the point.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Reflection Work Sample Thing
I've been working, with the help of my lovely wife, on something called a teacher work sample and it has not been fun.
I'd thought I'd share with you what I've written so far in my reflection which is the somewhat fun part:
I have been very pleased with my students and will always be grateful to them and my supervising teachers for letting me learn so much on any given day. I know that the work we’ve done doesn’t translate well into this format without names or faces, but this was the student teaching experience I wanted. I’m not a scientist, I’m an English major, and, granted, I believe the two should work more often together, but I wanted to teach something I knew, and something that mattered. The opportunity came up when I saw A Connecticut… was on the curriculum. I knew the thing would be a bear. I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into. And I also knew I would learn a lot more if I was fighting for my life over something that mattered, than I would if I played it safe and followed the Unit book. I wanted to tell them a story worth telling, and it wasn’t an easy story to tell.
I was also fully supported by my supervising instructors, Sharon Crossen and Ian MacDonald. I believe that they both understood it would be a difficult experience for me, but that my intentions were good, and I had the interest of the students at heart. So let me talk about them.
Overall they are a remarkable group of kids, and there isn’t one I wouldn’t like to know better if only to solve the mystery. Many are challenging and talk too much and don’t really listen half the time; they don’t “get” the book. But sometimes they’ll shock me in a good way. I wish I had more time.
A few are brilliant in a variety of ways and I ache for them because I fear they’ll feel stifled and give up on their education. But they’ve surprised me too with their generosity toward their peers. In an instant, I can think of four that have helped their friends who are struggling with the material without even thinking about it, without asking for extra credit. One in particular realized early that I was setting a high bar and couldn’t wait to leap for it. I don’t think he’d had to leap in a long time.
I’ve also found a handful of students that have not been so gifted academically, and I’m relieved to find that we are not at war over this book, or my expectations. I have been careful to not allow anyone to fail in a public way unless it was due to complete disregard for instruction or something of that nature. Nor will I let a student fail who is willing to try. When I sent a student home with her failed test to show and work through with her Mom, I’m glad she understood that it was out of concern and hope without judgment.
The group/individual projects I also count as a success with the main failure being on my part. I recorded the presentations and enjoyed the majority of them with only a few disappointments, but I have yet to really grade them and give the students their direct feedback. I plan to make a DVD, but it is certainly a case where time and others projects have interfered with my doing what I know I ought to do. The projects were worth it for the sake of one student who blew his classmates away, not only with the outstanding professionalism of his presentation, but also a style and charisma that no one (including me) had ever expected.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Day 17: So much to do, so little time.
So this is the life of a teacher. You've missed a lot haven't you? Thanks for checking back in. I guess to catch you up I'll start with today and work my way backwards. Today was a good day, a work day, but a good day. I have something called the Teacher Work Sample due on Friday, and it is a confusing bear and a half. To meet some of its requirements, I had to do things a little differently today. The oddest thing was administering a pre-evaluation which is supposed to be replicated in post-evaluation. I may simply not understand it, but it seems silly–especially when working things like reading comprehension: Read this paragraph and tell me what it means. Wrong! Read it again. I'm a great teacher! I don't get it, or I'm just too miffed to care.
Today I also met with a lady that has dragged me into some sort of dissertation of hers. I can't tell if it's dissertation or a research and marketing project, though. She's had me train on an online classroom simulator that is supposed to help teachers recognize and effectively manage students with different abilities and characteristics. It demands a lot more time than I thought and I wanted out of the program entirely, but I think she's trying to keep me on because of how effectively I can articulate what a waste of time the damn thing is. I'd do it here, but I really don't have time.
Last thing about today: I had student (really sweet and quiet kid) come in after school about a test he needed to finish and some missing work. I really felt like a teacher and encouraged him to take it home and do is best. I spend so much time in a day putting up with knuckle heads. Overall, God really gave me a number of breaks today. I needed them.
Yesterday (Day 16) was a nightmare. I spent an absurd amount of time over the weekend grading a paper I had designed for Friday. I put the test together to as both a review of the main points from the book so far, but mostly it was designed as a reading comprehension and critical thinking assessment. The thing that I'm proud of, is that I think the test worked. "Good" students didn't necessary breeze right through it and "bad" students with good reading skills were able to demonstrate their ability when the chips are down. It really revealed to me just how diverse my classroom is was enlightening and frustrating. The hardest thing about it was that for a few students, it revealed how significantly below grade level they actually function.
But all that is just back story. Yesterday was the day I gave them their tests back, and had hoped that those who didn't finish would take advantage of the time to do so, and those who did would be interested in who got what right and what the answers were. No such luck, and I was sad about this because there were a number of outstanding performers that I wanted to recognize and I didn't know how, and, even worse, I didn't really have a place for the students who were done to go. It felt like a homeroom. I think I would have come up with a plan had I the time. It isn't that I completely failed to anticipate the problem, so I guess I feel alright about that. I still had to live with it, though.
The Friday they took the test doesn't actually count as one of my days because I had to go to a seminar. I stayed up late getting the test ready and dropped it off during homeroom and explained the test to the first class so my supervising teacher could explain it to the following class. In some ways it was nice because I expect the students took the test more seriously knowing that their "real" teacher was administering it. I spent the day and Seminar wondering how in the world I'm going to have everything ready for them next week.
Day 15 was a Thursday. It was a modification from the day before which I'll get to later. I decided that I needed to take a larger role in guiding the review and modeling what it means to skim a chapter. First I had the kids read a play that covered the material we read so far and then I distributed a sheet with chapter titles and page numbers on them, directing them to write the main ideas or actions from each chapter. To do this I modeled skimming by "thinking out-loud," searching for main ideas and recalling events from the chapter. I tried to alternate with the students chapter to chapter with varying degrees of success. All in all, it took a lot longer than I thought it would and we didn't get a change to watch the clip from the Charlie Chaplin movie which is just as well.
Day 14 is when I dropped the bomb on them in the middle of class that we would be having a test. I did this after having read a chapter and without really warning them. My plan was to have them write, as a class, one set of notes that they could all use for the test, and that it was all they would be able to use. I also kept track of class participation. I don't think the idea was bad, but (same old story) time wouldn't allow it.
Take a break from this! Are you still reading? Seriously, there is much more internet out there!
Today I also met with a lady that has dragged me into some sort of dissertation of hers. I can't tell if it's dissertation or a research and marketing project, though. She's had me train on an online classroom simulator that is supposed to help teachers recognize and effectively manage students with different abilities and characteristics. It demands a lot more time than I thought and I wanted out of the program entirely, but I think she's trying to keep me on because of how effectively I can articulate what a waste of time the damn thing is. I'd do it here, but I really don't have time.
Last thing about today: I had student (really sweet and quiet kid) come in after school about a test he needed to finish and some missing work. I really felt like a teacher and encouraged him to take it home and do is best. I spend so much time in a day putting up with knuckle heads. Overall, God really gave me a number of breaks today. I needed them.
Yesterday (Day 16) was a nightmare. I spent an absurd amount of time over the weekend grading a paper I had designed for Friday. I put the test together to as both a review of the main points from the book so far, but mostly it was designed as a reading comprehension and critical thinking assessment. The thing that I'm proud of, is that I think the test worked. "Good" students didn't necessary breeze right through it and "bad" students with good reading skills were able to demonstrate their ability when the chips are down. It really revealed to me just how diverse my classroom is was enlightening and frustrating. The hardest thing about it was that for a few students, it revealed how significantly below grade level they actually function.
But all that is just back story. Yesterday was the day I gave them their tests back, and had hoped that those who didn't finish would take advantage of the time to do so, and those who did would be interested in who got what right and what the answers were. No such luck, and I was sad about this because there were a number of outstanding performers that I wanted to recognize and I didn't know how, and, even worse, I didn't really have a place for the students who were done to go. It felt like a homeroom. I think I would have come up with a plan had I the time. It isn't that I completely failed to anticipate the problem, so I guess I feel alright about that. I still had to live with it, though.
The Friday they took the test doesn't actually count as one of my days because I had to go to a seminar. I stayed up late getting the test ready and dropped it off during homeroom and explained the test to the first class so my supervising teacher could explain it to the following class. In some ways it was nice because I expect the students took the test more seriously knowing that their "real" teacher was administering it. I spent the day and Seminar wondering how in the world I'm going to have everything ready for them next week.
Day 15 was a Thursday. It was a modification from the day before which I'll get to later. I decided that I needed to take a larger role in guiding the review and modeling what it means to skim a chapter. First I had the kids read a play that covered the material we read so far and then I distributed a sheet with chapter titles and page numbers on them, directing them to write the main ideas or actions from each chapter. To do this I modeled skimming by "thinking out-loud," searching for main ideas and recalling events from the chapter. I tried to alternate with the students chapter to chapter with varying degrees of success. All in all, it took a lot longer than I thought it would and we didn't get a change to watch the clip from the Charlie Chaplin movie which is just as well.
Day 14 is when I dropped the bomb on them in the middle of class that we would be having a test. I did this after having read a chapter and without really warning them. My plan was to have them write, as a class, one set of notes that they could all use for the test, and that it was all they would be able to use. I also kept track of class participation. I don't think the idea was bad, but (same old story) time wouldn't allow it.
Take a break from this! Are you still reading? Seriously, there is much more internet out there!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day 12: Observed=Unnerved.
Actually the observation went well, but in some ways it felt like the scene in the movie where someone is drowning in a pool waving for help and the people on shore save back "hello." I'm glad that the external perception is that things are on track, but I'm not exactly loaded with confidence at this point. Teaching is a powerful learning experience, and I guess part of learning demands a level of self doubt. If one thinks they know it all they can't learn, but to build up to higher levels of learning, one needs to be sure in their footing and take risks on what they "know."
Monday, April 12, 2010
Day 11: Monday after Spring Break
Today was the day back for students from spring break. I didn’t want to give them a whole lot to do, because I felt they needed a day to settle. There was some house cleaning to do, but for the most part, I read to them and had some vocabulary prepared on PowerPoint and stopped to explain important points like the French Revolution and the Peasants Revolt of 1931.
I can’t really say it went great, but I’m not sure what would have made it better. I think about a fourth of the students were well engaged, some looked like they were sleeping but surprised themselves by occasionally answering questions. Part of me is just getting over the fact that I won’t have 100 percent of the students with me all the time and just need to plow ahead. Especially if I want to ever finish this book.
I also did a Micky Mouse impersonation. It got their attention. Probably shouldn't try it every day though.Thursday, April 8, 2010
Out of Nashville and into Atlanta.
Left fairly early in the morning and drove over to Atlanta. The rain got pretty intense which made the view of the mountains more dramatic before ruining it entirely. Driving in low visibility for a long distance makes me feel like I'm dreaming.
Oddly enough, this wasn't a dream.
Oddly enough, this wasn't a dream.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Vacation Daze
Just a quick little update. Having a lovely time in Nashville. Today we're going to do a little shopping, check out the Grand ole Opry (still don't really understand what it is), and visit Tom and Jo. Maybe this will be the week I start posting pictures to this blog. Maybe...
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Day 8-10: Recovering enough to rest.
Somebody mentioned in regards to my intended strategy that "the best laid plans often go awry." How true it is. Monday was so bad that I can't even remember what happened. It's been roped off in my brain as too depressing to revisit. Maybe it's just Mondays, because Tuesday and today were both a bit better. We got through about half of the presentations today which actually puts us on the schedule I'd intended. Grading presentations is harder than I thought it would be. I'm glad I taped it. I also figured out today that I needed a rubric which would have been helpful from the outset. Again, this reinforces that effective teaching is all about upfront planning and rapid improvisation. If the planning isn't thorough, the improve will break down. End of story.
In class I'm continuing to see the need to be upfront and direct. I had to confront a group of girls who had been "working" on an assignment for a day and a half (that's over two hours on the block schedule) and hadn't even read the chapter–the looks they gave me (shudder). I know I can't afford to be afraid of students, but again it points to planning. It's surprising what they'll throw back at you in a confrontation.
I'm typing this now because I can't sleep. I don't think I'll be able to tie up all the loose ends I wanted to before spring break, but I'm glad that I've at least made progress in that direction. I'm coming to the frustrating realization that I don't have enough time to ensure each student makes some progress. There are those who are determined to not learn and instead roam round the periphery of my attention. It's a game they can play all day long. What a waste.
I think these group projects are as ambitious as I can afford to get during this experience. After spring break, I really have only two weeks of teaching left, and there's this Teacher Work Sample to be addressed. It's a requirement from my University and, as far as I can tell, has no other use or purpose. It's just heavy handed documentation that I can set, teach, test, and adapt objectives. If I'm smart, I'll cheat the system and actually use it in a way that's helpful to my teaching. On paper it's just a tree killer.
I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad that these are just the beginning of my thoughts...
JB: Rare is that funny kid in high school who was great to hang out with and had great plans and a scholarship but then made a few missteps, was parsed and absorbed into a monolithic system. However, Perfect Dark (64 era) has been re-polished and released on the 360.
The taping idea is an interesting one and would at least be useful for students who missed class and may indeed be the instructional method of the future. However, I just happened to look at my older sister's high school yearbook which was published a scant six years before I went there. It was remarkable to see how much younger the teachers looked than they did when I would know them. This observation tells me that it would be weird and depressing to watch myself present information from a few years back, and ideally the teacher needs to gauge student comprehension on the fly anyway and would need to vary information based on their own learning over time.
In class I'm continuing to see the need to be upfront and direct. I had to confront a group of girls who had been "working" on an assignment for a day and a half (that's over two hours on the block schedule) and hadn't even read the chapter–the looks they gave me (shudder). I know I can't afford to be afraid of students, but again it points to planning. It's surprising what they'll throw back at you in a confrontation.
I'm typing this now because I can't sleep. I don't think I'll be able to tie up all the loose ends I wanted to before spring break, but I'm glad that I've at least made progress in that direction. I'm coming to the frustrating realization that I don't have enough time to ensure each student makes some progress. There are those who are determined to not learn and instead roam round the periphery of my attention. It's a game they can play all day long. What a waste.
I think these group projects are as ambitious as I can afford to get during this experience. After spring break, I really have only two weeks of teaching left, and there's this Teacher Work Sample to be addressed. It's a requirement from my University and, as far as I can tell, has no other use or purpose. It's just heavy handed documentation that I can set, teach, test, and adapt objectives. If I'm smart, I'll cheat the system and actually use it in a way that's helpful to my teaching. On paper it's just a tree killer.
I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad that these are just the beginning of my thoughts...
JB: Rare is that funny kid in high school who was great to hang out with and had great plans and a scholarship but then made a few missteps, was parsed and absorbed into a monolithic system. However, Perfect Dark (64 era) has been re-polished and released on the 360.
The taping idea is an interesting one and would at least be useful for students who missed class and may indeed be the instructional method of the future. However, I just happened to look at my older sister's high school yearbook which was published a scant six years before I went there. It was remarkable to see how much younger the teachers looked than they did when I would know them. This observation tells me that it would be weird and depressing to watch myself present information from a few years back, and ideally the teacher needs to gauge student comprehension on the fly anyway and would need to vary information based on their own learning over time.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Day 7: Group therapy.
I was straight forward again today, but instead of vocabulary I showed clips of videos that related to the upcoming chapter. Unsurprisingly, many asked to watch the whole movie. Mr. Siler doesn't go for that sort of thing. Also 4th period is a challenge. Five students or so left for track and overall, the class seems either over or underwhelmed with the book. (Sigh.)
I have a seminar tomorrow. My mentor teachers will teach short stories or something. Monday through Thursday will be interesting because Friday is spring break. Ideally, I'd be at the half way point of the book by then, but that isn't going to happen. This weekend is all about coming up with the perfect strategy. The next few chapters are fairly episodic. Ideally, I could devise a series of assignments appealing to different learning styles from which the students could choose and work on until presentation day on Wednesday/Thursday. I could video tape this and look awesome while keeping everyone up to speed on the story. Yes. Let's do that.
I have a seminar tomorrow. My mentor teachers will teach short stories or something. Monday through Thursday will be interesting because Friday is spring break. Ideally, I'd be at the half way point of the book by then, but that isn't going to happen. This weekend is all about coming up with the perfect strategy. The next few chapters are fairly episodic. Ideally, I could devise a series of assignments appealing to different learning styles from which the students could choose and work on until presentation day on Wednesday/Thursday. I could video tape this and look awesome while keeping everyone up to speed on the story. Yes. Let's do that.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Day 6: Better day.
I still have a long way to go, but today was probably better than yesterday. Finding the right amount of material to go over is tricky, tricky, tricky. 1st period ended right on time, but 2nd got done way early–the opposite of yesterday. I just can’t understand it. I gave them the facebook assignment that I’d given 4th a few days back. Having it on the agenda immediately peaked their interest. Many didn’t really give me much, though. I’m a little disappointed. I got a ton of feedback from 4th. Maybe it was just a different day or they were more excited about me (not that it’s all about me). Maybe I need a more official Facebook example.
I did the reading today, and I think that made a difference, that and it was a really good chapter. I think some of the students are coming around to the idea that this might actually be a good book. Better than they're used to anyway.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Day 5: Trying to figure it out.
Today was better. I'm curious to know what they thought. I still think Connecticut... is a great book, but I've got to push a bit to get them warmed up to it. Today I had them write down vocabulary words and fill out a graphic organizer while reading and listening to the story. I still spoon-fed them what to write though, and it was pretty basic who, what, when, where, kinda stuff. Some students really don't want to work for themselves. They want me to tell them what to write. I've got to shake them out of that and get them to take risk and generate their own thoughts, but I'll have to be deliberate about it. Hard to state that kind of thing as an objective, which probably speaks volumes about what's needed in our educational system.
I played my mean teacher hand-it isn't my strongest hand, but it held. A comforting thought was the reminder that I am working with teenagers. If we can just be decent to one another, each will exceed the other's expectations.
I played my mean teacher hand-it isn't my strongest hand, but it held. A comforting thought was the reminder that I am working with teenagers. If we can just be decent to one another, each will exceed the other's expectations.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Day 4: And the waves crash.
Today was really difficult and frustrating. I don't have control of the class, kids keep asking to go to the bathroom, I'm not getting the classes attention, people are chatting, others don't know what their doing, still others don't know what to do with themselves.
I only had a half plan. It's difficult to get prepared in the morning even without a homeroom, which is a real shame to me. I graded a retarded amount of homework this weekend. It isn't as though they were a ton of in depth papers and I was grading for grammar or anything, but I just felt like and idiot spending hours grading something they took 5 minutes to complete. Maybe that should be an assignment goal. Don't create an assignment that will take more time for you to grade than it took the student to complete. I also need to set criteria that is clear, but challenging. I can't keep giving everyone great grades for mediocre work, but I've got to build up to it so students feel prepared.
I'm not against group work in theory after today, but having two or three kids busy on a computer while the rest chat and look bored is not a good plan. I can't believe how far behind we are on Connecticut Yankee.
Blah blah Arrrgh Npttthbbbthhh!
My adviser is coming to observe tomorrow. Sarcastic yay!
I only had a half plan. It's difficult to get prepared in the morning even without a homeroom, which is a real shame to me. I graded a retarded amount of homework this weekend. It isn't as though they were a ton of in depth papers and I was grading for grammar or anything, but I just felt like and idiot spending hours grading something they took 5 minutes to complete. Maybe that should be an assignment goal. Don't create an assignment that will take more time for you to grade than it took the student to complete. I also need to set criteria that is clear, but challenging. I can't keep giving everyone great grades for mediocre work, but I've got to build up to it so students feel prepared.
I'm not against group work in theory after today, but having two or three kids busy on a computer while the rest chat and look bored is not a good plan. I can't believe how far behind we are on Connecticut Yankee.
Blah blah Arrrgh Npttthbbbthhh!
My adviser is coming to observe tomorrow. Sarcastic yay!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Not today.
Not that it's been a bad day, but I'm not really on track yet for the everyday accountability thing. It's actually taking up attention that I don't have to spare. In order to keep this space effective, I will definitely be transitioning toward teaching reflection and planning because it's the proverbial "elephant in [my brain]."
Student teaching is going very well, but it's certainly dawning on me that a teacher really is signing up for a lot of work, especially if the job is to be done right. I'll be giving more details in future notices, but I am grateful that the classes and staff I am working with have been so supportive. I'm really looking forward to learning through this experience.
Student teaching is going very well, but it's certainly dawning on me that a teacher really is signing up for a lot of work, especially if the job is to be done right. I'll be giving more details in future notices, but I am grateful that the classes and staff I am working with have been so supportive. I'm really looking forward to learning through this experience.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
F-6: Effen anyway...
Got all sorts of confused on the system the other day. Even though I then missed a day, I'm chalking it all up to minor error and will continue going about my business. (The "b" was because I'd skipped a day by labeling incorrectly.)
I didn't know what a Moleskine was, so I deduced it was some kind of notebook. I bought a Mead 5x7 spiral notebook. It's bigger than the 3x5 I was using before for to-do lists, but now there's room for a weekly agenda and calendar. I'll just have to keep in the car or in routine places. Lined paper is definitely better for me instead of a more formal planning notebook. I always would get bothered by days or pages I wasn't using in those things. This way I call the shots.
Tonight we're hoping to figure out a car rental for our southern tour.
I didn't know what a Moleskine was, so I deduced it was some kind of notebook. I bought a Mead 5x7 spiral notebook. It's bigger than the 3x5 I was using before for to-do lists, but now there's room for a weekly agenda and calendar. I'll just have to keep in the car or in routine places. Lined paper is definitely better for me instead of a more formal planning notebook. I always would get bothered by days or pages I wasn't using in those things. This way I call the shots.
Tonight we're hoping to figure out a car rental for our southern tour.
Monday, March 8, 2010
F-5b: Dilgence is a dirty word.
I listened to a very convicting sermon about planning from Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church. I'm glad I'm doing my best to keep up with this blog, but it's only part of a bigger overhaul.
I think that getting my goals in writing and sitting down with Shannon on a weekly basis will make a big difference for both of us. There's nothing like marriage to help one distinguish between where he's easy going and where he's just lazy and fearful.
Anyway. I look forward to having a plan and knowing what's going on, even if it is more or less.
I think that getting my goals in writing and sitting down with Shannon on a weekly basis will make a big difference for both of us. There's nothing like marriage to help one distinguish between where he's easy going and where he's just lazy and fearful.
Anyway. I look forward to having a plan and knowing what's going on, even if it is more or less.
Friday, March 5, 2010
F-5: Well the horse is dead by now at least.
Artax, no!
I'm really glad its Friday, aren't you?
Next week the DSTP will be in progress, so the schedule will be interesting. Hard to believe I'll be full on teaching. I sure hope it goes well.
I'm really glad its Friday, aren't you?
Next week the DSTP will be in progress, so the schedule will be interesting. Hard to believe I'll be full on teaching. I sure hope it goes well.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
F-3: Easy does it.
Yesterday was pretty long. I took it a little easier today. Went to the gym with Shannon after school, and that was pretty fun. Made tacoish wraps and are about to watch Rain Man. We've been on a really good streak lately. I watched Rocky and The Never Ending Story in the last few weeks and was impressed with how much I liked them. We also saw an older movie called The Thin Man which was a lot of fun with really good actors that make up for the so so plot.
So school is more or less done the first week of May, but I'm sure there will be a lot of odds and ends to wrap up in order to graduate. I think that right now procrastination has been less of an issue because I've had less opportunity, and the consequences are immediate and direct.
Have a good night.
So school is more or less done the first week of May, but I'm sure there will be a lot of odds and ends to wrap up in order to graduate. I think that right now procrastination has been less of an issue because I've had less opportunity, and the consequences are immediate and direct.
Have a good night.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
F-2: Golly what a day.
Was out the door a little after six this morning and have just gotten home at eight thirty. The report today will be brief.
Student teaching goes until April 29th. I begin teaching full days on the 15th of March, so I have about a week before I begin in earnest.
Good day overall, but definitely work.
Student teaching goes until April 29th. I begin teaching full days on the 15th of March, so I have about a week before I begin in earnest.
Good day overall, but definitely work.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
F-1: Coming Forth
Due to overwhelming demand, I return to write, ponder, and pontificate on matters majestic and mundane. But in gratitude for such demand, I newly resolve to entertain, to play. After all, it is much better for all concerned if those who take the measure of my pulse through this daily check-up are intrinsically motivated to do so.
With the paper completed and grade received (an A!), I now need to focus on setting and meeting appropriate goals for my student teaching experience. I may also use this space for reflections (might as well kill two birds with one stone). I'll try to not change my system up too much. The day and letter system will remain and probably the to-do list. I may add a link for a more comprehensive list of tasks and deadlines. My time issue these days is less about procrastination and more about straight up management. It's a refreshing change really.
I'll keep you posted-heh.
With the paper completed and grade received (an A!), I now need to focus on setting and meeting appropriate goals for my student teaching experience. I may also use this space for reflections (might as well kill two birds with one stone). I'll try to not change my system up too much. The day and letter system will remain and probably the to-do list. I may add a link for a more comprehensive list of tasks and deadlines. My time issue these days is less about procrastination and more about straight up management. It's a refreshing change really.
I'll keep you posted-heh.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
D-16: Total cheat.
I didn't blog yesterday. I'm keeping this "D" streak going for two reasons: the internet was "finicky" yesterday and I did work on the paper. The efficiency of the time was not what it could be. I'm going to try an hourly log today so I force myself to come to grips with what I'm accomplishing.
Lady Maphet: I greatly envy your reading habits! Did you enjoy Bleak House? Anna Karenina must not be too bad if your nearly finished it. How would you compare the authors?
JB: Snow on paper is terrible. It renders the paper absolutely useless.
I may play with the layout in the future. My reason for picking this one is because it places my explanation of this blog at the top which I hope is helpful to any new comers. Though my "regulars" are probably more important.
Thanks for reading, all.
Lady Maphet: I greatly envy your reading habits! Did you enjoy Bleak House? Anna Karenina must not be too bad if your nearly finished it. How would you compare the authors?
JB: Snow on paper is terrible. It renders the paper absolutely useless.
I may play with the layout in the future. My reason for picking this one is because it places my explanation of this blog at the top which I hope is helpful to any new comers. Though my "regulars" are probably more important.
Thanks for reading, all.
Monday, February 8, 2010
D-15: He's on a roll!
That isn't wholly true, of course. Remember that paper on Hugo, Dickens and Tolstoy I'm supposed to write? Still not a jot or tittle down. I have high hopes for tomorrow. Another day off, it looks like.
The wife and I did some shoveling which was quite fun though from the outside it looked like work (about an hour later it really felt like work). I am very happy to have enjoyed the time with my "help mate." It was a good morning. The afternoon wasn't bad either. I put together a lesson plan because I was supposed to get observed tomorrow, and we thought it best to be prepared despite our doubts that there would be school. I'm happy with the lesson, and have hopes that it will go well.
So Hugo, Dickens, and Tolstoy will have to wait till tomorrow. God has certainly given me more that enough time, so I'm pretty short of excuses. Thankfully I'm also still interested in the subject. I'm not trying to re-invent the wheel here, just doing a comparative study of three authors and how there writings were influenced by and influenced the 19th century. I'm hoping that this study will give me a better perspective on what we write about today.
I'm also considering starting another blog project in which I reflect one chapter of the Psalms at a time. I may write it in my own words or write my own poetry in response to it. I think it will be a very unique way to do a study.
Comments: I've heard from a few that the comment system has been a little finicky lately. I have no idea why that may be, but I appreciate the efforts!
The wife and I did some shoveling which was quite fun though from the outside it looked like work (about an hour later it really felt like work). I am very happy to have enjoyed the time with my "help mate." It was a good morning. The afternoon wasn't bad either. I put together a lesson plan because I was supposed to get observed tomorrow, and we thought it best to be prepared despite our doubts that there would be school. I'm happy with the lesson, and have hopes that it will go well.
So Hugo, Dickens, and Tolstoy will have to wait till tomorrow. God has certainly given me more that enough time, so I'm pretty short of excuses. Thankfully I'm also still interested in the subject. I'm not trying to re-invent the wheel here, just doing a comparative study of three authors and how there writings were influenced by and influenced the 19th century. I'm hoping that this study will give me a better perspective on what we write about today.
I'm also considering starting another blog project in which I reflect one chapter of the Psalms at a time. I may write it in my own words or write my own poetry in response to it. I think it will be a very unique way to do a study.
Comments: I've heard from a few that the comment system has been a little finicky lately. I have no idea why that may be, but I appreciate the efforts!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
D-13: Bleh
Not feeling well today, just kind of out of it, I might be sick. Maybe I'll get to sleep a lot.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
D-12: Upstream
Today I did more watching than doing. There was a two hour delay, so the schedule was off kilter, and it seemed to affect everything else. I graded student writing for the first time too. It was a little, no consequence kind of assignment, but I really found myself sweating over giving and taking points away. One day, I'll probably think very little about it which doesn't make me feel better.
I just want to be helpful. I don't want to take points off as punishment or because it's "what they deserve." I'd like to think it will help them be teachable. I need some interesting pens. Grading with a dull black Bic carries no sense of authority.
I'm going to try and chill out with the wife again tonight, though I know I need to get more work done on this paper. I have a ways to go regarding the lesson plan too, but I remain enthused about it. Dinner smells good right now....mmmm.
I just want to be helpful. I don't want to take points off as punishment or because it's "what they deserve." I'd like to think it will help them be teachable. I need some interesting pens. Grading with a dull black Bic carries no sense of authority.
I'm going to try and chill out with the wife again tonight, though I know I need to get more work done on this paper. I have a ways to go regarding the lesson plan too, but I remain enthused about it. Dinner smells good right now....mmmm.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
D-11: Something must be done.
Both Shannon and I are on board with me working on the paper today. It'll be interesting. It's certainly a unique challenge to manage one's abiding procrastination with a partner, which is probably why I try to deal with it alone, but we all know how well that works. The challenge in having my wife as a partner is that we really like each other. We just want to hang out. I have to be upfront and honest about my needs in a loving and sacrificial way, and she has the complicated role of balancing accountability and support without losing respect. If that sentence made sense to you, then you know how to pray for us.
So, the paper will be our guinea pig.
JB: Blu-ray player prices have dropped significantly. I'm not sure the xbox plays blu-ray, but both systems play Netflix (the Wii should be capable soon) which is what we're most interested in anyway and the main reason we bought the system we did. We've decided to take advantage of the store's return policy and will re-evaluate our choice in 80 days or so.
So, the paper will be our guinea pig.
JB: Blu-ray player prices have dropped significantly. I'm not sure the xbox plays blu-ray, but both systems play Netflix (the Wii should be capable soon) which is what we're most interested in anyway and the main reason we bought the system we did. We've decided to take advantage of the store's return policy and will re-evaluate our choice in 80 days or so.
Monday, February 1, 2010
D-10: No title
Nothing super insightful to report today. This entry is coming in late because I went to Walmart after school and there was some cleaning and eating to do before Frontliners. It was a good evening, and I enjoyed seeing familiar faces.
Spending some time with the wife tonight. I'm going to try to get up a little early tomorrow. Need to develop the habit.
Spending some time with the wife tonight. I'm going to try to get up a little early tomorrow. Need to develop the habit.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
D-9: Moment of truth.
I'm trying to get myself psyched for this. It's 3:07 by my watch, and I've got to sink some time into getting this paper rolling. The same closed books have been staring at me for weeks now. Step one is creating my work cited page. Step two is crafting a rough outline. Step three is pulling out some relevant bits of information from the books. Sounds simple enough right?
Look for an update today.
UPDATE: I read a lot, mostly on topic, but no real progress... Can I claim writer's block for not getting through the bibliography? No. What nerve!
Look for an update today.
UPDATE: I read a lot, mostly on topic, but no real progress... Can I claim writer's block for not getting through the bibliography? No. What nerve!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
D-8: Pass
Hello everyone. This is actually Luke's wife. I finally read his latest entry at 8:30pm Saturday. I reminded him that he needed to write a new entry about the paper. I confess that I was not the most supportive today and am the reason I am writing this entry. I asked for Luke's forgiveness because I did not help him start his paper. I instead asked him to research Blu-ray players and then we had a family dinner. All day the thought that he didn't work on his paper was in the back of my mind, realizing that I am an accountability partner in this too and I failed to do my part and gave in to temptation.
He forgave me and asked for a pass for today to be able to continue on D. It was pretty neat that he asked me. A marriage really is one life before God and we both support one another. We will work at it tomorrow and I ask for your prayers for diligence for both of us tomorrow. I will make the effort of having him write an entry tomorrow evening for continued accountability.
Thank you all for reading and being a great encouragement to my husband. It is a blessing.
He forgave me and asked for a pass for today to be able to continue on D. It was pretty neat that he asked me. A marriage really is one life before God and we both support one another. We will work at it tomorrow and I ask for your prayers for diligence for both of us tomorrow. I will make the effort of having him write an entry tomorrow evening for continued accountability.
Thank you all for reading and being a great encouragement to my husband. It is a blessing.
Friday, January 29, 2010
D-7: Seven?
Made it to the end of the week!
1st period students were definitely aware that today is Friday. It was really the first time I felt that I was involved in a problematic situation. Today was also a big day for me as I had sole responsibility for a lesson. What I wanted to do was read an article and model the thought process that goes into active reading. The kids were patient, but I could tell that it wasn't really working. The next period I read the whole story first and then focused on outlining. This worked better but was quite time consuming. I only covered about half of the document.
Next time I'll have the outline completed and model the first three paragraphs or so before assigning groups to complete the remaining paragraphs. This will work much better I'm sure.
Today is about decompression. I don't think I've recovered from last weekend. It was fun but I've just been beat all week and haven't gotten any catch-up sleep. Tomorrow will be paper day.
Since that's the case, I'll blog again tomorrow mid-afternoon, but not Sunday.
1st period students were definitely aware that today is Friday. It was really the first time I felt that I was involved in a problematic situation. Today was also a big day for me as I had sole responsibility for a lesson. What I wanted to do was read an article and model the thought process that goes into active reading. The kids were patient, but I could tell that it wasn't really working. The next period I read the whole story first and then focused on outlining. This worked better but was quite time consuming. I only covered about half of the document.
Next time I'll have the outline completed and model the first three paragraphs or so before assigning groups to complete the remaining paragraphs. This will work much better I'm sure.
Today is about decompression. I don't think I've recovered from last weekend. It was fun but I've just been beat all week and haven't gotten any catch-up sleep. Tomorrow will be paper day.
Since that's the case, I'll blog again tomorrow mid-afternoon, but not Sunday.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
D-6: Job is a three letter word.
My adviser came today, and it was a bit of cold water. I'm reminded that teaching is essentially a middle management position, meeting needs, wants, and demands without the time to discriminate between the two or the authority to object or advocate even if you can. But does a lack of authority mean a lack of responsibility? Many teachers whom I respect openly confess a need shrug off certain injustices and embrace wasteful practices. The rain falls on us all.
I'm a bit tempered, which I think is healthy.
Saturday is an important day for me. The paper still hangs, and the unit grows unwieldy like a bag of pizza dough. (Thanks for reading, buddy.) It's weird feeling like I don't have time to write this entry. Away!
I'm a bit tempered, which I think is healthy.
Saturday is an important day for me. The paper still hangs, and the unit grows unwieldy like a bag of pizza dough. (Thanks for reading, buddy.) It's weird feeling like I don't have time to write this entry. Away!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
D-5: My future is looking uncertainly bright
Again, I feel that I've had a very blessed day of student teaching, though it's still more observing at this point. I'm getting to know the kids, and they're getting to know me. We had a debate today on whether or not McDonald's et al. are responsible for the rise in obesity today. The nearly unanimous argument was that it was up to the individual and that the food chains are not responsible. To make the debate more lively for the next class, we changed the question to whether it was the parent's or the child's responsibility to make healthy choices, and the split was a little more even, but favored the individual.
I was expecting to have to balance a more progressive, anti-capitalistic attitude toward the "evil" corporation, but instead I found myself saying, "wait a minute, you don't see how happy they were to poison a generation with fat and sugar just to make a buck, that the only reason they're changing is because the market (and legal pressure) is forcing them to?" Never thought I'd speak that sentence and mean it.
My plans for the rest of the day are pretty simple: dinner, spend time with Shannon, fiddle with the speaker system, (a little disappointed with it so far) try to get to bed earlier. I still need to figure out my quiet time and when I'm going to write this paper and curriculum. I'm not too worried yet.
I was expecting to have to balance a more progressive, anti-capitalistic attitude toward the "evil" corporation, but instead I found myself saying, "wait a minute, you don't see how happy they were to poison a generation with fat and sugar just to make a buck, that the only reason they're changing is because the market (and legal pressure) is forcing them to?" Never thought I'd speak that sentence and mean it.
My plans for the rest of the day are pretty simple: dinner, spend time with Shannon, fiddle with the speaker system, (a little disappointed with it so far) try to get to bed earlier. I still need to figure out my quiet time and when I'm going to write this paper and curriculum. I'm not too worried yet.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
D-4: Is my future self laughing at me?
I left school today feeling comically optimistic and happy. I may actually be one of those people who say, "I love teaching!" I'd always looked at those people like they were cross-eyed, but maybe it's possible. My student teaching experience has been pretty incredible; it makes a big difference being able to talk to people actually in the field and I try to remind myself that many teachers actually like to be helpful and answer questions. (I'm also reminding myself it's okay to have questions.)
I still have this paper for my senior seminar hanging over my head. It shouldn't be a big deal, but finding the time for it has been tricky. I should really look at it as an opportunity to prove to myself that the writing process doesn't have to be a tedious, horrendous nightmare. The paper should be a chance to learn material in a new way, and the process can be highly individualized; it's the standardized product that freaks people out, but it's also the strongest indicator that something has been learned when one is able to communicate that learning to others.
I have a dinner meeting at six and until then, I'm trying to set up our TV. Yes, it's new, and I'm excited.
I still have this paper for my senior seminar hanging over my head. It shouldn't be a big deal, but finding the time for it has been tricky. I should really look at it as an opportunity to prove to myself that the writing process doesn't have to be a tedious, horrendous nightmare. The paper should be a chance to learn material in a new way, and the process can be highly individualized; it's the standardized product that freaks people out, but it's also the strongest indicator that something has been learned when one is able to communicate that learning to others.
I have a dinner meeting at six and until then, I'm trying to set up our TV. Yes, it's new, and I'm excited.
Monday, January 25, 2010
D-3: Better Late
Crazy brief, but I got to keep up, right?
Really good day at school, especially for a Monday. I have Bible study right now.
Really good day at school, especially for a Monday. I have Bible study right now.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
D-2: The week ends early for me
Thursday came and went fast! Tomorrow I attend a seminar and then I am off to Georgia to hang out with Tom and Mike. I don't know what we'll do, but we'll do it our way.
Today was a pretty good day. I wasn't as involved personally as I would like, and I need to figure out exactly when my student teaching officially begins. Tomorrow I'm hoping to get some clarification on those points.
I need to e-mail my schedule to my supervisor and course instructor. I need to clean up around the house, get some dog food, and go to furniture and more to look for a kitchen table/counter. I need to get ready for a trip tomorrow. Crazy!
Today was a pretty good day. I wasn't as involved personally as I would like, and I need to figure out exactly when my student teaching officially begins. Tomorrow I'm hoping to get some clarification on those points.
I need to e-mail my schedule to my supervisor and course instructor. I need to clean up around the house, get some dog food, and go to furniture and more to look for a kitchen table/counter. I need to get ready for a trip tomorrow. Crazy!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
D-1: Can I stick with a letter for more than a week?
Ah, so you're still checking. I admire your determination and tenacity; it far outstrips mine.
My posting schedule is now adapted to fit my schooling schedule, and I know it will work because I've had the plan for a few days and delayed initiating it. That was the part of me that doesn't like this whole accountability thing. Since I'm home from my student teaching gig between 3:30 and 4:00, my new vulnerable time is right in that window, when I'm home and Shannon is not.
I'm technically behind schedule today. It's 4:22 and I've been home for 40 minutes or so. I fed the dog and surfed around on the internet. Not the best use of time, especially since I knew I needed to start re-updating this blog.
Entries should be in two parts: a reflection on the day so far, and a plan for the time ahead.
Today went well. I really like the school, the students, and the faculty. I used my free time today to grade papers and continue planning a unit on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I made a study guide for the book a year ago and am eager to apply what I've learned since then and I hope to figure out how to teach it to a class.
Today we're having pizza and playing board games with the neighbors. Should be fun.
My posting schedule is now adapted to fit my schooling schedule, and I know it will work because I've had the plan for a few days and delayed initiating it. That was the part of me that doesn't like this whole accountability thing. Since I'm home from my student teaching gig between 3:30 and 4:00, my new vulnerable time is right in that window, when I'm home and Shannon is not.
I'm technically behind schedule today. It's 4:22 and I've been home for 40 minutes or so. I fed the dog and surfed around on the internet. Not the best use of time, especially since I knew I needed to start re-updating this blog.
Entries should be in two parts: a reflection on the day so far, and a plan for the time ahead.
Today went well. I really like the school, the students, and the faculty. I used my free time today to grade papers and continue planning a unit on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I made a study guide for the book a year ago and am eager to apply what I've learned since then and I hope to figure out how to teach it to a class.
Today we're having pizza and playing board games with the neighbors. Should be fun.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
C-7: Time is a luxery again
Now that I'm at school all day, I don't want to do anything when I get home. Not good. I need to create a space to do these things before I get myself in trouble!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
C-6: Seems like so long ago...
Wow, two full days at school have felt really, really full. Has it only been that long? I'm not saying I've been bored or overwhelmed, it's just been really intense I guess. I'm excited and looking forward to my 20 days of teaching. Looks like I'll be working with A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I really like the story and have written a study guide for it, so I'll be interested to see how I develop and make it work in the classroom. I plan on learning lots.
Wish I didn't have this paper to write. I'll just have to find a way to find it interesting. I can only blame myself if it's dull. I picked the topic.
Peace
Wish I didn't have this paper to write. I'll just have to find a way to find it interesting. I can only blame myself if it's dull. I picked the topic.
Peace
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
C-5: Student to Teacher
First day student teaching today. Not sure what this means for my to-do list!
Monday, January 11, 2010
C-4: Walk the Line
Proverbs 4:25-27; 5:21, "Let your eyes look straight forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil... For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths" (ESV).
This must be day three back on Adderal. I knew it was a blow to me when I was told to not take it until the diagnostic tests were completed, and now I remember why. The difference is subtle, but it's there. I was most concretely aware of the difference last night and this morning. It took me a little while to get to sleep so I read a few chapters of Proverbs. This morning I kept waking up around 5 o'clock.
To many people, this may sound like a bad thing. Why should I be happy that I'm not sleeping? For starters, I am sleeping. I slept at least 7 hours with little to no interruption, so I am rested. Secondly one of the things that bothers me most when I have multiple stresses in my life is my ability to shut off and forget about it. Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing in some ways, but it also prevents me from getting uncomfortable enough with a situation to do something about it. From the outside, the impression is that I am somebody who's laid back and relaxed, but the reality can often be that I'm so stressed that the "string" has snapped. I can't handle any tension whatsoever.
This morning it wasn't worry keeping awake either. It was anticipation. This is my last day before I start student teaching and I'm really looking forward to it. The Lord has also been leaning on me to really accept and think seriously about being a teacher. I apologized to my Sunday School class this week because I haven't been taking them as seriously as I ought and as outlined in Titus chapter 2. They're good kids, and I want to give them some tools to prepare them for adolescence while providing them a last hurrah for childhood. This year hasn't been bad per se, we've been taking them through 1 Samuel, but I'd really like to find a way to get them to interact with Proverbs. It will take some wisdom to figure out how to do that. I wonder where I can find that? But if it's service to the Lord that is keeping me awake, I can't really complain can I? He kept waking Samuel all night.
Accountability Note: Though I'm not going as far as making an itinerary out of my to-do list. I have desired to put the items in some sort of order. To do this, I have decided to give point values between 1 and 99 to my tasks. I choose the number based on how large or critical the task is and how quickly it needs to be done. Generally, I'd like to limit this list to tasks I can accomplish in the next day or two with long range tasks being relegated to a calendar. Pieces of those tasks will show up in my to-do lists, however. Finding 9 sources is a fragment of a larger project.
Thanks for reading. Guess I'll get some work done!
This must be day three back on Adderal. I knew it was a blow to me when I was told to not take it until the diagnostic tests were completed, and now I remember why. The difference is subtle, but it's there. I was most concretely aware of the difference last night and this morning. It took me a little while to get to sleep so I read a few chapters of Proverbs. This morning I kept waking up around 5 o'clock.
To many people, this may sound like a bad thing. Why should I be happy that I'm not sleeping? For starters, I am sleeping. I slept at least 7 hours with little to no interruption, so I am rested. Secondly one of the things that bothers me most when I have multiple stresses in my life is my ability to shut off and forget about it. Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing in some ways, but it also prevents me from getting uncomfortable enough with a situation to do something about it. From the outside, the impression is that I am somebody who's laid back and relaxed, but the reality can often be that I'm so stressed that the "string" has snapped. I can't handle any tension whatsoever.
This morning it wasn't worry keeping awake either. It was anticipation. This is my last day before I start student teaching and I'm really looking forward to it. The Lord has also been leaning on me to really accept and think seriously about being a teacher. I apologized to my Sunday School class this week because I haven't been taking them as seriously as I ought and as outlined in Titus chapter 2. They're good kids, and I want to give them some tools to prepare them for adolescence while providing them a last hurrah for childhood. This year hasn't been bad per se, we've been taking them through 1 Samuel, but I'd really like to find a way to get them to interact with Proverbs. It will take some wisdom to figure out how to do that. I wonder where I can find that? But if it's service to the Lord that is keeping me awake, I can't really complain can I? He kept waking Samuel all night.
Accountability Note: Though I'm not going as far as making an itinerary out of my to-do list. I have desired to put the items in some sort of order. To do this, I have decided to give point values between 1 and 99 to my tasks. I choose the number based on how large or critical the task is and how quickly it needs to be done. Generally, I'd like to limit this list to tasks I can accomplish in the next day or two with long range tasks being relegated to a calendar. Pieces of those tasks will show up in my to-do lists, however. Finding 9 sources is a fragment of a larger project.
Thanks for reading. Guess I'll get some work done!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
C-3: Sunday, Sunday
Pray for me this day. I want to do the right thing by my Sunday school students. I haven't been giving it the attention it deserves.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
C-2: By executive order
In some ways, I'm glad that I didn't post for a couple days because the comment thread on B-8 was quite interesting. If I've missed replying to some of your comments, please forgive me. I'm a little annoyed that this blog service doesn't always alert me to comments. There's probably a setting somewhere...
Heard back from the doctor yesterday and apparently I'm good to go, so in a few minutes I'll be back on Adderal. I don't have a huge to-do list today, but it would probably be a good idea to do either some prep work for student teaching or some work toward a paper I need to write to resolve a very pesky incomplete. The bonus to this assignment its that I got to choose the topic.
As an English major, I'm ashamed to admit I know very little about Dickens, Tolstoy, or Hugo. I'll be patching together a comparative biography on these three since they are contemporaries in different countries with larger than life reputations. I'll be focusing more on the authors and their lives and as context for their writings and hopefully come away with some useful conclusions.
Happy Saturday.
Heard back from the doctor yesterday and apparently I'm good to go, so in a few minutes I'll be back on Adderal. I don't have a huge to-do list today, but it would probably be a good idea to do either some prep work for student teaching or some work toward a paper I need to write to resolve a very pesky incomplete. The bonus to this assignment its that I got to choose the topic.
As an English major, I'm ashamed to admit I know very little about Dickens, Tolstoy, or Hugo. I'll be patching together a comparative biography on these three since they are contemporaries in different countries with larger than life reputations. I'll be focusing more on the authors and their lives and as context for their writings and hopefully come away with some useful conclusions.
Happy Saturday.
Friday, January 8, 2010
C-1: Fresh snow
Had way too much self directed time this week. Epic fail.
But today is a snow day for Shannon and in some ways that makes it a snow day for me as well. I'm glad that we'll have a day together and hope it will help us both recharge to face the coming weeks.
I'm looking forward to student teaching if for no other reason than it will be nice to have somewhere to officially be in the morning. I do fear getting used to being there all day, though. I haven't had to deal with a single place for an extended period of time in quite a while.
The x-ray went fine, I guess. I'm still waiting for feedback. I'm really wishing I could start trying Adderall again. Not to excuse my choices, but I feel like I got overwhelmed pretty early on this week with the whole application for substitute teaching process. Applications are never easy because they are tedious and stir up my insecurity. Nothing fills me with self doubt more than a tedious process in which I have to list my accomplishments.
I have to admit that it felt good to say, "expected graduation: May 2010."
But today is a snow day for Shannon and in some ways that makes it a snow day for me as well. I'm glad that we'll have a day together and hope it will help us both recharge to face the coming weeks.
I'm looking forward to student teaching if for no other reason than it will be nice to have somewhere to officially be in the morning. I do fear getting used to being there all day, though. I haven't had to deal with a single place for an extended period of time in quite a while.
The x-ray went fine, I guess. I'm still waiting for feedback. I'm really wishing I could start trying Adderall again. Not to excuse my choices, but I feel like I got overwhelmed pretty early on this week with the whole application for substitute teaching process. Applications are never easy because they are tedious and stir up my insecurity. Nothing fills me with self doubt more than a tedious process in which I have to list my accomplishments.
I have to admit that it felt good to say, "expected graduation: May 2010."
Monday, January 4, 2010
B-8: Every temptation is an opportunity for victory
I've probably heard this before, but facing temptation with a posture of victory instead of fear is a fundamental lesson the Christian is bound to learn over and over again. We are bound to win as we are bound to Jesus: Get used to it.
I've really looked forward to this Monday. (Is that sentence even legal?) Of course, I'm still on vacation, but it's a new kind of vacation. As Dr Leo Marvin (What about Bob?) would put it, I'm on a vacation from my problems. I will leave my problems by dealing with them head on. I made a list in the order I intended to face them until I couldn't think of any more. I've discovered that I am quite blessed because many of them are mere shadows on the wall that are only scary when I'm not really looking at them and the imagination fills in all sorts of scary details that have little to do with reality and everything to do with paranoia and cowardice. "The fool says, 'there is a lion in the streets!'"– a proverb.
Today is about going down the list, and not thinking too much.
I've really looked forward to this Monday. (Is that sentence even legal?) Of course, I'm still on vacation, but it's a new kind of vacation. As Dr Leo Marvin (What about Bob?) would put it, I'm on a vacation from my problems. I will leave my problems by dealing with them head on. I made a list in the order I intended to face them until I couldn't think of any more. I've discovered that I am quite blessed because many of them are mere shadows on the wall that are only scary when I'm not really looking at them and the imagination fills in all sorts of scary details that have little to do with reality and everything to do with paranoia and cowardice. "The fool says, 'there is a lion in the streets!'"– a proverb.
Today is about going down the list, and not thinking too much.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
B-7: See ya Monday
The whole vacation season has been pretty disruptive, so planning has been a bit unnecessary. Have a blessed Sunday, I'll certainly need to write Monday morning because Shannon goes back to school and I have a week to get ready for student teaching. I'm closing in on getting through some of the medical issues that have prevented me from taking ADHD meds, so that will be interesting as well. I've managed fairly well without meds, but I certainly remain interested in seeing if the Adderal will help me plan and get through the tasks required this semester, particularly dealing with new people at a new school.
Friday, January 1, 2010
B-6: A leg up on the new years resolution thing.
I am making no promises and telling no lies. I had a good New Year.
I am up past my bedtime. So tired.
I am up past my bedtime. So tired.
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